Cairo, Egypt

First things first: Dad, you were wondering about the keyboards. The one in front of me is identical to an English keyboard (thank God not a French one), but there is an Arabic character also on each key. It started typing in English automatically on Internet Explorer, but when I opened Word I knew there would be trouble when I saw the cursor on the right side of the screen. There is a little drop down menu on the toolbar that lets you toggle between English and Arabic. I must concede a few things: 1)yes, leaving the airport is a nightmare, 2)yes, Cairo is the filthiest city I have ever been in (so far) and 3)me thinking I know everything about the world, I have been in Egypt less than 24 hours and have been blatantly ripped off many, many times. But I'm loving every second of it. The second I stepped off the plane and onto the jetway I was overpowered with an intense smell of cigarette smoke. Then in the actual filthy, ramshackle building they call a terminal, there is a mix of horrible smells and cigarette smokes. Despite huge no smoking signs, there are cigarette butt
everywhere. To enter Egypt, you have to buy a visa from one of the exchange counters. I greeted the man in Arabic – "masa2 al-khair," to which he laughed and responded. Then I inquired "visa?" and he responded in English "15 dollars." I gave him US$15 and he gave me a little sticker that said "Egypt – Entry Visa." That's it – no form, no pictures. Then I changed money. The bathrooms were disgusting. Got
in the line for passport control, which went very quickly. The official just stamped my passport then passed it to an old woman in hijab sitting behind him and motioned for me to fuck off. The woman entered my details into a computer then looked at me, smiled, handed me my passport and said "Dominic." "Shukran." "3afwan." That all went smoothly, but this is where the fun starts. Customs was nothing but a bunch of guys standing around talking, so I walked right by them. Then the transport people swarm you. I finally encountered an official looking guy who insisted that the cab fare to downtown was fixed by the government at 65 pounds. Probably bullshit but it seemed efficient. He said I pay him then he writes me a receipt. Then he showed me the way into the parking lot, where they would pick me up. A porter insisted on carrying my bag. I told him no, but he literally swiped it from me. Then another guy took me to the place where we waited a second for the cab. They were impressed with my Arabic. The porter insisted I give him a tip. I gave him the only change I had, British pounds, which he angrily threw on the ground. I then offered to give him Egyptian money if he could make change for a large bill, which of course he couldn't I don't care if it's the custom – fuck him. If I wanted a porter, I would have been prepared and asked for one. I explained this to him, and reminded him that I insisted he did NOT carry my bag. In the meantime my cab had arrived and was the driver was annoyed that I was still arguing with this dumbass, so I just asked him "is my bag in there?" (I know, I know) and jumped in. I started worrying seeing as how I never actually saw my bag go into the cab, and realized it could have all been a distraction ploy. Upon leaving the airport, the driver pointed out to me the beautiful new EgyptAir terminal, as opposed to the semi-destroyed building I had just disembarked from. He froze up when he realized I understood his Arabic, and was very impressed. We passed a lot of new buildings, and at night everything looked nice and clean. We passed a brand new Mobil gas station with an "On the Go" convenience store attached. The driving wasn't that crazy, but it is funny how when possible, Egyptians prefer to drive between the lanes in order to assert their dominance over the WHOLE road. The driver pointed out every mundane thing we passed – "this hotel, this bank, this bridge." Since he was so nice, I began to worry if the guy at the airport had just robbed me and I would actually have to pay the full cab fare to him. He offered to take me on a tour of the city the next day, but I declined. Even past midnight, many people were out walking around Cairo and a few shops were open. It was not very cold, much warmer than Fullerton right now at night, but everybody was bundled in heavy jackets. I guess that's as cold as it gets. He had to ask around a little bit to find the hotel. He was on the right street, but then got to a part of the street that the police had blocked off. They told him that it was a little back in the opposite direction, so he just shifted into reverse and drove back a ways. Brilliant. Thank God my bag actually was in the trunk. He then said "money for driver." I showed him the receipt I was given at the airport, and he understood but told me you usually give a little extra. I did want to give him a tip, I was just making sure that I hadn't been scammed. My hotel consisted of the top floor of a 12 story apartment building. There was a scary looking elevator (I don't even like to take safe looking elevators), but I took the stairs. The stairs were filthy and littered with Cairo's hallmark – cigarettes. On one story I disturbed a family of cats living in the building. I eventually got to a point in the staircase where there was no light, so I decided to go back down and try the elevator. Returning to the bottom floor, a guy sleeping in a bed in what appeared to be the broom closet saw me and my suitcase and shouted, in English, "tourist?" "Yes." "Hotel?" "Yes." "Top floor." So I sweated it through the elevator ride. What I'm afraid of is getting stuck in the elevator, and this one looked like that was a good possibility. It's the kind where you have to pull the door open and shut, not like fancy sliding doors. So when you're in the elevator, you're looking at the actual concrete of the elevator shaft. Thankfully, I made it and was greeted by a young Egyptian guy at the desk of the hotel. I greeted him in Arabic "masa2 al-khair – good evening." This made him smile and he checked me in, with the rest of the conversation in English. He said "you like beano?" I was very confused. Then he repeated slowly "you like bay now?" He was asking me if I wanted to pay now, or tomorrow. There is no "p" sound in Arabic, so they pronounce it like a b. Pepsi is "Bebsi" and Lays, which has adds everywhere, simply calls their product "chips," which is what is printed on the bag as the brand name. Except that there is no "ch" OR "p" sound in Arabic, so you can enjoy a nice big bags of "sheebs." Anyways, this guy showed me to what was thankfully a very nice room. I have my own huge balcony overlooking the city. I slept a little, then woke up for breakfast. The bathroom had a typical Middle Eastern style shower, which consists of just a basin with no shower curtain and a detachable shower head. Those who are used to this are skilled enough to shower themselves without getting water everywhere. At breakfast, I was asked in English what I would like to drink, to which I responded "2ahwa – coffee." Apparently understanding Spanish, this guy looked at me and confirmed "agua?" OK, so my accent needs some work. I did get my coffee, however, served in a transparent glass cup with no handle, just like they serve tea. Then I grabbed a cab to the pyramids, after being warned by the guy at the hotel of all the scams there. This driver also pointed things out – "this is bank." I could see. Very impressive. Then he offered me a cigarette. I declined, but that was definitely the first time a cab driver had ever offered me something. Driving very fast with the window down and a lot of noise outside it was very difficult for him to hear whoever he was talking with on his cell phone, so he shouted very loudly. Once out of the big traffic he started going the speed I had expected to experience in the Middle East. I don't even feel like going into it, but basically I was swindled out of a lot of money by the assholes at the pyramids. A hell of a lot of money. After that every other tout that approached me I very rudely told off. It's a difficult balance between being a polite, respectful tourist and letting yourself get robbed blindly. The thing is these guys aren't honest hard-working people just trying to provide for their families. They're dishonest hard-working people just trying to provide for their families. They can still burn in hell. It ruined the experience so badly that it wasn't until about 20 minutes later that I actually realized I was at the motherfucking PYRAMIDS OF EGYPT!!!! One of the 7 Wonders of the World. Then I actually looked up and saw them, and was amazed I was actually there. Unfortunately, it's hard to just sit and enjoy them because people are trying to fuck you out of money left and right, but I did find a place to hide. Some people whine that it's not an authentic experience because they're right in the city of Cairo rather than out in the desert (yeah, what the hell were those ancients thinking?). Well, they're actually right on the outskirts. Look one direction and you'll see the metropolis of Cairo, and the other direction and you'll see the open desert and associated nothingness. Pretty cool if you ask me. It also occurred to me that I was seeing camels in their natural environment. They're a lot cuter than you would think. I got a cab for the way back, and the guy had a big bag of oranges with him. He took one out and offered it to me "orange – very good." I refused, but he insisted. I refused again, and he relented. Later he also offered me a cigarette. We talked a little in Arabic. He wanted to know why I spoke Arabic, to which I didn't really have an answer. He asked me if I was a Muslim, and I said no. He asked me if I was a Christian, and I said yes seeing as if you tell them you have no religion they get confused. Then he said something, the gist of which I think was that in Egypt, the Muslims and the Christians get along. I've just been wandering aimlessly around the city getting lost and stumbled upon this internet café. On my way here I saw a group of boys who looked about 9 or 10 years old, but the cigarettes they were smoking definitely made them look older and more mature. I've seen many women walking unaccompanied, though at least 90 percent of them actually do wear the headscarf. More than I expected cover their entire face as well, and the truly hardcore wear black gloves to conceal even the flesh of their hands. Except for these women, however, the headscarf does not seem to mean that they're actually very religious. I saw many young couples walking and holding hands in public, even if the girl covered her hair. Who knows though, I guess they could have been married. The greatest thing I saw was a group of the "in crowd" teenage girls standing around flirting with some boys. Even though they were all wearing headscarves, they still managed to dress and look like total sluts. BTW, when I write things in Arabic, the numbers represent letters that do not exist in English. The most common greeting I've heard so far is actually the informal "salam 3alaik" with the plural honorific suffix omitted, something they definitely don't teach you in school.