Monterrey, Mexico

There is something a little off about our hotel. There is no sign indicating that it is a hotel, and the only indication anywhere of the name is on the towels which say "Fundador Hotel." The lobby has several doors opening onto the street, but only one of them is unlocked at any given time and they keep rotating which door is unlocked to confuse people. Monterrey is great. It's obviously wedding season here since we saw at least 6 of them on Saturday. We saw a big man made lake which boats were going down into some canal from, and figured it was some kind of Pirates of the Caribbean ride. We started walking down the canal and discovered that it lasts for about 2 miles along a beautifully landscaped pedestration way with fountains, modern lighting and several parks along the way. It was insane. This is the kind of thing I would expect to see in Dubai, as it is all man made. Although I loved it, I kept thinking what Rory would have to say about the tragic waste of water. It was all decorated for Christmas, and one boat going down the river had Santa. It's still Christmas here because children traditionally don't open their presents until January 6. One show was explaining the miraculous birth of Jesus Christ. No politically correct multicultural holiday season here. Then they were singing "Feliz Navidad" followed by the English lyrics we know as "I want to wish you a Merry Christmas." I'm pretty sure that this is an American song and that those are the original lyrics, being bilingual. The next day we came back and found out that this place is called Paseo Santa Lucía and that it was inaugurated in September 2007, so it's very new. We took the metro to the Alameda, which was unimpresive but the Monterrey metro is really nice, with TV screens and everything in the cars. Danielle said that it was her first time ever taking a subway. I reminded her that she had been on subways in both Los Angeles and Chicago, but she insisted that this did not count. The Alameda station had some kind of metro security personnel. They didn't seem like cops - until they pulled out handcuffs and arrested a drunk guy. He resisted a little. Another one of these subway rent-a-cops came over and was shown the plastic cup that this guy was carrying, then the two of them gave each other a high five and fist bump. Last night we ate at a restaurant called "Las Monjitas" (The Little Nuns) where all of the waitresses dressed like nuns. I had the Juan Pablo II. I attempted to buy beer at the Oxxo, and was informed that in Monterrey alcohol is not sold on Sundays after 6 PM. 6????????? So I had nothing to do but watch the news. However, anybody who has ever seen the news in Latin America knows that this is actually a lot more fun than it sounds. The journalistic standards here are very different. I read a newspaper in Saltillo where there was a picture of those soldiers in Juarez arresting a bunch of people. Apparently, President Calderón sent the army up to Juarez and arrested the entire police department to root out corruption, and now the streets of Juarez are patrolled by the army, and they don't fuck around, meaning people are actually getting arrested for things other than public drunkenness. Then on the next page there were pictures of two dead bodies, something that you would never see in the US. Anyways, Latin America is famous for its drop dead gorgeous news anchors. Monterrey's is very hot, and beats out any I saw in Colombia, the traditional homeland of sexy journalism. She giggles as she reads the news, and makes sure the audience believes she is a complete ditz. The weather girl, Yaneth Garza, is also something to behold. They had the story about the fat ass baby born in the OC, which they haved dubbed "El Súper Bebé." The big story was about a relic being saved from a fire at a local church, then they allowed people to call in to discuss whether or not this was a miracle. Then they brought out "El Brujo Mayor" (The Grand Witch), an old guy with a Santa Claus beard, to bust out the tarot cards and predict the new year's fortunes for various Mexican celebrities. Just as there is no separation of church and state here, there is no separation of witchcraft and journalism. The commercials were also interesting. Tide laundry detergent is marketed as "Ace." The federal government actually advertises here (guess they need more confident consumers), including a special commercial just for the Cámara de Diputados, Mexico's House of Representatives. How does that make any sense at all? Then there is a commercial reading a prayer to bless President Calderón. Today we went to the Cervecería Cuahtemoc, home of Dos Equis, Sol, Carta Blanca and the always spectacular Tecate, among others, where we thought we would be able to get not just a free tour but also a free beer. Unfortunately, there were no tours today, but we DID get the free beer. It was Carta Blanca's special Christmas brew, and it was delicious. We also saw the Mexican baseball hall of fame. I took this opportunity to learn baseball vocabulary in Spanish. Most things are the same, such as "el pitcher" and "el catcher." Home plate is "el plato de home." My favorite position, however, is "el ampayer." On the metro ride back I noticed the sign from the Mexican government explaining the new currency, and in what conditions currency can be accepted. Interestingly, bills with something written on them are still valid, as long as what's written on them does not contain a political or religious message. Also in the metro station was a big sign about Mexico's program to assist those deported from the US resettle in Mexico.